When I’m not in the woods I’m watching the impeachment hearings and reruns of The Sopranos. These two episodic extravaganzas dovetail perfectly. I get the hearings on NPR and CNN and The Sopranos on AMAZON. I don’t have a TV. With my slow internet there can be a lot of buffering. It’s worth it. After a day of sitting in the cold, deer hunting and watching the hearings, I need the straight forward perspective of Tony and the Jersey mob in order to make sense of Trump’s style of government. I remind you that mob mouthpiece Roy Cohn was also Donald Trump’s lawyer, confidant and mentor for years. Cohn was a scumbag. Trump was an excellent student. Fuggetaboutit.
The Cosa Nostra, Mafia, Mob, Family—whatever you want to call it— is nothing if not entertaining…..until the bodies start washing ashore. Politics fits the same bill. Trump is also entertaining; just not so much for a Ukrainian soldier waiting for more ammo or a woman trying to change in a Barney’s dressing room. Like Tony Soprano, the boss can be a little overbearing. Emulating his mob counterparts Trump does not email or text. He does talk on the phone; but his only paper trail is writ large on cardboard in Sharpie: “I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING….I WANT NO QUID, PRO, QUO…”
As his sudden change of plans in the summer illustrates, when the boss senses the law is closing in he hits the links and sends in one of his captains (like Pence) to take the heat. His excuse for skipping the sit down with Zelinsky in Warsaw was Hurricane Dorian. The VP is loyal to a fault. When asked about the money, Pence just nodded and told the President of Ukraine he’d talk to the big guy about that missing $300 million, when he got back to the compound. The above picture shows how the President dealt with the approaching storm; between golf games and altering weather maps with the same Sharpie. He’ll take a mulligan.
Unlike the boss I do a lot of my communication in public and leave a pretty clear electronic trail. I like to review the evidence when I’m called upon to testify on “rudeness,” or somebody swears I didn’t invite them to the Xmas party. I don’t have a consiglieri. I wish I could say “Talk to Rudy.”
During Ambassador Sondland’s incriminating testimony, as I watched the Republicans try to convince the public that a series of Ukrainian tweets and a stray op-ed during the Presidential election was “meddling” or “election interference,” I thought of all the shitty things Republicans had said about Trump during the same time period. They hated him way more than the Ukrainians. Why don’t the Dems throw it right back in their faces; read a quote from Lindsey Graham or Ted Cruz during the campaign? Who could I contact with this great idea? Under the subject “Just a thought” I got out my secure computer and sent off a quick email to my favorite Senator- Dick Durbin.
Dear Dick,
Every time the Republicans bring up the anti-Trump op-ed and tweets by the Ukrainians during the election as evidence of some sort of election interference, there is a big list of sitting Republicans, Lindsey Graham et al, who said and wrote loads of anti-Trump talking points at the same time. Enjoying these hearings. Got a nice buck with the bow. (insert picture of buck)
All the best,
MO
DD (Dick Durbin not Diamond Dave) seems to have a sense of humor and so far has not sent me a cease and desist for emailing him. Most times I’m amazed that the guy actually responds. If at the next hearing you hear them call bullshit on this lame “Ukrainian corruption” evidence and quote a Republican saying nasty shit about the boss I may be getting through.
The boss went to the doctor the other day. Here again, an old mob ploy. Don’t be surprised if suddenly the President appears in a wheel chair, dragging an oxygen tank, humming The Soprano’s theme song, muttering to himself about Gulianni and Michael Cohen. How hard is it for a President to find a good lawyer? The don’t make ‘em like Roy Cohn anymore. “Woke up this morning….got myself a gun…..got myself a gun…..”
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